Hump Day

Happy Wednesday! The weather today was the nicest it's been in a few weeks. This is the kind of weather that I live for. This is also the most significant hump day I've had in a while, because now I only have three full days left until I leave for Spain. And no, I haven't really packed yet. My suitcases have been open and lying around in my room for about two weeks now. Today was my last day of work, and while I thought it would be 100% sweet, it was more like 70% sweet and 30% bitter. I know I'll be back in a few months, but I was a little sad to leave College Park for the last time this year. The weird thing about studying abroad is that you leave for a foreign country, but life back at home will resume without you like it usually does. You don't get to hit pause and press play when you're back. My friends will still go to class every day and stress over biochem or mamm-phys midterms. I guess that's also true for life in general. No matter where you go or what you do, life goes on. 

This is something I read on some blog a while back that seriously stuck with me, and I even wrote it on the inside cover of my planner so that I can read it when times are tough.

"The more I struggle to control my life, the more I struggle...
I've always prided myself on having the power to make my life. I have the power to make myself happy or sad [...] I thought that having power meant having control. Well, the joke is on me. It turns out... I'm better off just rolling with the punches. Peace comes with balance. Balance means understanding that there is good and bad for everyone in every life. If we're constantly pursuing "happy", then you are unbalanced. To roll with whatever life gives you and know that times will suck and times will rock is peace. It removes the illusion of duality. It removes the feeling of failure when times suck, and it removes the fear of change when times are awesome. Life will never get to a place where you have it all tied up in a neat and tidy package with a bow. And if it does, that's great. But just breathe. Stop forging some imaginary path to a place called 'Happiness'. It will make you insane."

Now, a part of me disagrees with the last few sentences. If you know in your mind and your heart that there is a way to be happy, then by all means, you should try and get there. The message that I personally am taking from this is that life isn't perfect, and you have to accept that.

I haven't really been thinking about the fact that these are my last few days at home. To tell the truth, I haven't really been thinking about how my life is about to be turned upside down, either. I'm not sure whether I should mentally prepare myself, or if I should just deal with everything as it happens. One thing is certain; I'm going to have to learn to deal with a lot pretty soon. Another thing is certain; I booked my flight to go visit Daniel in Amsterdam in a few weeks! I'm so excited to see him and to explore the city together. And to eat stroopwafels... mmm.

 I'll admit I am a little anxious about my flight. I never liked flying, so clearly I didn't inherit the part of my dad where he's crazy about airplanes. Even though I always get anxious about it, I've always had good experiences on planes. One time when I was on a flight back from visiting Korea, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows had JUST come out (I think 2008...) and I couldn't find an English copy in time for my flight back home. The woman sitting next to me had it with her on the plane, so she let me read the first couple of chapters. I wonder how she's doing. I'll probably be too busy running around and packing to update before I leave, so wish me luck on my flight! I will definitely post as soon as possible when I get to Barcelona.

TWO WEEKS LEFT!!!!

Remember when I said I didn't like to talk about my personal life too much on the internet? Well, this is an exception so bear with me, you guys. This will be a loooong post. It's not too late to jump ship! The first part is just a blog post, the second part is a review of some more stuff I bought, so you can skip all the cheesiness and scroll down if you so please.

Yesterday, we dropped off Daniel at the airport. It's funny, up until the day he left, I was totally calm and fine about it, but then the waterworks really started when we were driving to the airport (which is why I wore my sunglasses in the car so no one could really tell haha). I can't believe he's finally in Europe now! I kind of owe it to him that I'm also studying abroad because if he hadn't shown me the UMD Education Abroad website, I would have never even considered it. I just always assumed it wasn't going to happen for me because of my credits, but I was wrong!

On his last night at home, all of us went to dinner together. I guess it was for multiple occasions; Daniel going off to school, his parents' anniversary, and his sister's birthday. I really need to redo my roots... maybe I'll just go back to my black hair so I don't have to deal with it. I've also gotten really into wearing solid colors. I'm still figuring out what colors, patterns, and cuts of clothing look good on me. Still don't know.

The last Daniel Frank grilled cheese for a few months :( (He makes the best grilled cheeses. Look at that cheese oozing out from between the bread)

Aaaand it was finally August 16th. I always forget how emotional of a person I am until things like this come up. I think I have a Pavlov's dog kind of thing going on with the airport. Airports just make me cry! Either from sadness because I have to say goodbye to someone, or from happiness because I get to be reunited with someone.

Daniel waiting to get his bags checked and his boarding passes printed out. I thought it was funny that Icelandair and Lufthansa (the airline I booked) were right next to each other. In two weeks, that'll be me!

We walked around for a little bit after that because I don't think any of us really wanted to say goodbye just yet. But then 6:30 rolled around and we had to send him off. I definitely started crying again at this point, and I knew that would happen so I wore VERY minimal makeup.

I would just like to say that this was not my idea. Mollie was taking a picture of us and then she told us to kiss. It went like this:

*click* *click* "Okay, now kiss."

Me and Daniel "What? Seriously? No!"

"Yes! Just do it!"

You really can't blame me for this cheesiness. Unfortunately we left immediately after saying goodbye, so I didn't get to watch his flight take off or anything. I probably would have cried more lol. Also, Dulles isn't built in a way that you can really do that. The runway is kind of far from the actual airport. In an ideal world, I would have stood near the window and watched the plane fly away just like Pam did in The Office when Michael left (Spoilers? Sorry, I don't really feel bad because the show ended like 4 years ago and everyone knows he left) and she just barely caught him walking to his gate. But this is not a perfect world, this is a world where we have to be home for dinner. 

I think Daniel leaving made it seriously feel like my flight date was even closer. I only have 12 days until I leave too, and I've started packing. Kinda. If you count finding my suitcases and opening them up and leaving them on my floor as "packing", then yeah, I've packed.

Also, I'm always looking for ways to improve my blogging. I've never done anything like this before, so I'm figuring it out as I go. I'm totally open to suggestions and critique! I think I'm already aware that my posts have a lot of me-rambling-on-about-nothing, so I'm working on that. What can I improve about the formatting? Content? Post frequency? More pictures? Less pictures? If you tell me what you think, I'll love you forever! You can reach me on Twitter. Just try not to be too mean ;)

One hundred miles

Yesterday, we went on a mini road trip to Hagerstown, Maryland to check out the outlet (We both desperately need good shoes for walking for the upcoming semester). I guess all this time I've sat in the back of the family van while my dad drove, so I never really realized how far it was. It's about a 50 mile trip, so a round trip is 100 miles. Jeez.

Obviously, we had to make a stop at Fractured Prune on the way up. These are banana cream pie, morning buzz (mocha glaze with oreos), cookies and cream, smores, french toast, and dulce de leche. Pretty damn good... and definitely an unholy amount of calories. We also ended up going to Outback for dinner, because we love steak so much. I was a little disappointed because they've definitely downsized their portions, but what do you expect from a chain like that...

Wouldn't this be a great picture to paint with watercolors? I've always painted with acrylic, but I think I would really like watercolor. Maybe I'll pick up some supplies in Spain and get into it there. The drive was actually really nice. It was beautiful outside and I-70 is very scenic in some areas. There's lots of rolling hills and valleys and whatnot. Add some off-key-singing-along-with-the-radio-together, and you have yourself a good time.

After fruitless attempts at finding anything worth buying at Nike, Adidas (I wanted Stan Smiths but they weren't really any cheaper than the online price, which is expected), J. Crew, Gap, and (desperately) Reebok... we ended up both buying very similar pairs of shoes from Bass (I got a pair of dirty bucks, which are nothing like I've worn before, but they're pretty plain so I can wear them with lots of outfits). I've never bought anything from there so I wasn't even considering it in the first place, but it worked out. If you're going there anytime soon, aka this week, they're having a super clearance sale with a lot of stuff up to 80% off. I paid $30 for shoes that were originally $100, and was gonna get a really nice leather tote too if I hadn't just bought a new bag. I think these shoes will be my go-to pair this semester, although I'm usually wearing my Doc Martens in the fall/winter. They're just too heavy and big to bring with me, but I'm not sad about it. I think I'm getting over those anyway.

I hate the fact that I'm trying to save money like crazy, but I just have to keep spending money on things in preparation for Spain. I bought a good shoulder bag with a zippered opening because the one I've been using for a few years doesn't have one. Worst situation: someone could just put their hand in it and run off with my phone/credit card. That actually almost happened with the non-zippered bag in Rome a few years ago, so I've learned my lesson.

I hope everyone had a great, relaxing weekend, and if you're at the J.Cole concert right now, I envy you.

Nerves are kicking in

There's 25 days left until I leave, 13 days left at my job, and 11 days until Daniel leaves. His program starts two weeks before mine. I'm really glad that we'll be in the same time zone, because it'll make staying in touch so much easier. I don't have to wonder if he's awake yet (actually I wonder that a lot anyway) or what time it is over there. Alright, that's enough of that. I really don't want to become one of those people that blabs and blabs and blabs on about their relationship on the internet, even though I think I would be posting about this even if we weren't dating. Either way, it's good to keep things on the down low.

The clock is ticking... sometimes I kind of regret just taking a boring office job for the summer instead of pursuing something that's actually meaningful and related to my degree, but I honestly just took the first job I came across because I was desperate to have a steady income over the summer to save money. Next summer will be plenty busy, so I don't feel all that bad.

I haven't even started packing. I booked with Lufthansa (I flat out refuse to take United, they are the worst airline in the world. Maybe other than that one-star North Korean airline. I remember when I went to Italy a few summers ago and we sat on the tarmac for literally four hours, it was awful.) and for some reason they only allow for one free checked bag, so I'll most likely have to pay the $100 to check a second bag. And then I'll have a carry on as well. How do you pack for four months? And not just four months, basically three seasons. Summer, fall, and winter. I'll be getting there when it's pretty hot, settling in when the temperature starts to cool down, and don't forget I'll be traveling to places that'll probably be colder than Barcelona, like the Netherlands and Germany. What shoes do I bring? Will they have my brand of shampoo and face wash? So many questions.

Anyway, this weekend my family and our friends got together and basically had a two-day-long party. That was definitely the most food I have eaten in a long time. I love occasions like that because my mom is pretty restrictive on how much food I eat and when I eat it. Wait, that makes her sound like some kind of abusive parent. Not at all. She's just like, "Are you really gonna eat that right now? It's 10 PM. You're really eating that much? Isn't that a lot?" Korean problems. Actually, no, I'm sure all moms are like that to some extent.

I am REALLY gonna miss my mom's Korean food when I'm in Spain. There's seriously nothing like stuffing your face with a good Korean BBQ meal at home. It's the ultimate comfort food.

Mmm. Steak, the love of my life. I really have no idea how I'm gonna do with the food situation in Barcelona. I know the food is amazing, but with all of the walking I'm gonna be doing, hopefully I lose a few pounds when I'm over there. My weight has been fluctuating a LOT throughout college, and I know that's something that a lot of people experience. I think I gained and lost somewhere around 25 pounds, and then gained about 7 back. I'm just trying to get to that healthy, consistent point where dieting isn't my entire life and I'm not losing sleep over how many calories I consumed that day. This whole summer, I've been parking a mile away from my work and walking to and from my car, but Laura recently put me on her campus parking permit so now I walk about 500 feet, and I've been very slowly gaining weight because of that haha. 

Meet Amber, the sweetest dog ever. She's only a year old, but she's pretty much done growing. Oh my god, I loved playing with her. I've never met a dog so friendly and gentle. I read on the internet that if you put an egg in a golden retriever's mouth, they'll just hold onto it instead of breaking the shell. Something about them being hunting dogs and bringing the dead game (birds) back in one piece. Anyway, we tried it and it works! There's a video of it on my Twitter if you're interested. Lol.

Speaking of Spain, my passport and visa finally came back in the mail! I was so worried it wouldn't come in time and then I wouldn't even have a passport and then I wouldn't be able to get on my plane and everything would be ruined and I would have to go back to College Park. Do you see how my thought processes usually end up? I would post a picture of it on here, but I probably shouldn't. But just take my word for it, it looks cool. It's all blue and shiny and it's in Spanish and it says VISADO. You wish you had one. However, it has a picture of me from back when I didn't know how to apply makeup. I still kind of don't, but back then, I REALLY didn't know. Eyebrows were not on fleek. One step at a time.

I'll probably be posting more before I go. I've talked to so many people about this, and everyone says the same thing: you're so nervous and anxious you want to pee your pants, but when you get there, it's amazing. So I guess I want to look back at these posts and laugh at everything I was worried about.

Hope everyone is having a great hump day!